


Endless Snow

by RonnieSilverlake



Series: Liquefied Love [4]
Category: Free!
Genre: Accidents, Cuddle, Fear, M/M, Skiing, Tumblr: makoharufestival, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-17
Updated: 2014-01-17
Packaged: 2018-01-09 02:32:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1140397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RonnieSilverlake/pseuds/RonnieSilverlake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'll find him," he says, his voice definite and calm, and by the looks on their faces, he, for once, managed to convince them of a courage he doesn't actually possess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Endless Snow

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [MakoHaru Festival](http://makoharufestival.tumblr.com) on tumblr.  
> Day 4  
> Prompt: Cuddle  
> (I admit I got a bit carried away from the actual prompt...)

"People will think you are actually a bear, Mako-chan."

As Makoto tries to pull his shoulders a bit closer together (not that it changes anything), and Rin bursts into laughter, Haruka folds his arms with a little huff. Truth be told, Nagisa has a  _little_ bit of a point, what with Makoto already being the tallest of them, and now dressed up in especially thick winter clothes, most prominent of which is the bulky red coat. it's not entirely fair; all of them are wearing similarly thick clothing, so it's just Makoto's height, or so Haruka thinks.

"I don't really think bears come in this colour, though," Makoto inclines his head, though Haruka can tell he feels a bit awkward.

"Well, your hair is brown enough!" Nagisa exclaims, and Haru's lips press even thinner together. Thankfully, Rei intervenes before anyone would lose patience.

"I think if anyone, you would represent a bear, Nagisa-kun..."

"What, but I'm wearing yellow?"

"... You know, those sold in stores, that contain honey..."

Nagisa bursts into a fit of giggles. "Rei-chan, are you saying I'm sweet?"

"What is everyone waiting for?" Saviour of the moment, Gou, slams the door against the wall, glaring daggers at everyone, but most prominently her brother (who in turn never really understands the reason for that). "These things," she indicates towards her heavy, almost rock-like boots, "are already killing me, and we haven't even had any fun yet, because you dorks keep arguing in here instead of getting  _up there!_ " She gestures towards the white-coated mountainside, and the boys, one by one, silently concede defeat. Winter sports are not bad at all! was what Gou had said. And then again and again, adding things like how it would build up their endurance, and their leg strength, up till the moment it was only Haruka categorically refusing, at which point, he had to come to the sudden realization that, if he indeed stayed at home, it would mean Makoto going without him.

That's how they ended up on this winter break skiing trip.

Now, as they trod upwards the mountainside, equipment in their hands or hoisted over shoulders, oddly enough, Rin seems to be the only one being content with the situation. Halfway up there, Makoto already looks uncomfortably hot in all the layers, Haru is still a bit disgruntled at Nagisa for reasons he is unsure  _he_ understands, while the blond keeps arguing back and forth with both Gou and Rei, who seems to know a bit about skiing himself (though Haruka guesses it is most likely just the theory he got from books, which he surely did as soon as they had learnt they were going to go on this trip). Rin has made no claims as to whether he can actually ski or not (they more or less decided that if Gou can, it had to mean Rin probably can too), but he definitely carries his things with a confident ease, his usual cocky grin in place, even though half of it is obscured by the thick scarf he wrapped around the lower half of his face.

It soon turns out that most of their assumptions were wrong. Skiing is much harder than they imagined, and Gou, despite being away from the pool, is still the ever so relentless manager that has brought them various brutal training menus. She is an excellent skier, but the learning process is painstakingly slow; the snow somehow feels more slippery under their skis than ice would feel in boots, and - surprise! - the first one landing on his bottom is none other than the redheaded girl's big brother (much to his chagrin, and the rest's amusement). Rei sort of learns the same way he learnt to swim butterfly; with every theory memorized, at first he still seems hopeless, falling into the most comical heaps possible, and often crashing into Nagisa, but eventually develops a pattern of his own, mixing professional moves together with his own technique, until he can at least reach the bottom of the slope without losing his glasses. Nagisa is enthusiastic, if a little too much so (maybe that's why he collides with Rei so often). Makoto seems to be the only one deciding to stick with Gou's instructions, learning in slow steps, perfecting his form first, and only then trying it out, so as to avoid injury. As for Haru... well, despite how much he complained, they all have to admit, even Rin (not that he wants to), that he seems to be a natural. His sloping has an elegant curve to it as he slides between other skiers, soon deciding to equip himself with ski sticks as well (which Gou has denied them first, saying it would only be a hindrance till they learn how to rely on their legs only), and even going as far as deciding to try out sliding down in one straight line, which accelerates him to a dangerous speed - something that Gou has strongly advised against (or rather, forbidden), but he finds it exhilarating anyways.

By the time late afternoon begins to tint the winter sky a fainter gray than it was before, all of them have to admit, much to Gou's satisfaction, that they are having fun. Even Rin manages to take the length of the lane without getting tangled in his own feet and falling face-first into the snow... about once every three tries. It is the last time they ascend with the ski lift, to the very same slope - there are others, of course, but they only began today, there would be time to explore when they were more steady on their skis - when Rin finally notices, still on the ski lift, at the rear of their line, looking ahead with a frown creasing his brow. His voice carries up the mountainside clearly as he yells, "Where's Haru?!", and Nagisa, who has just gotten off the lift at the top, almost falls into a bush in surprise.

Makoto feels his insides freeze up as he realizes Rin is right. Having been so caught up in trying to learn, he comes to the terrifying revelation that he cannot even recall when he last saw Haruka. An hour ago? Two? Four?! "Perhaps he stayed behind?" Rei suggests, removing his wide ski goggles to push his glasses up his nose. (Wearing them both at the same time is rather inconvenient, but as this was planned as a one time thing, he didn't think it necessary to invent in prescription goggles, not when this kind is big enough to accommodate him with enough space where he can wear glasses underneath, even if it feels a little cramped.) "He probably felt too tired for the last time, and is waiting for us at the bottom." It was rather clear that he is attempting to sound more confident than he actually feels, and sadly, they can tell.

"Wouldn't he have said so, though?" Nagisa pipes up, still trying to free his sleeve from the persistent bush that got him even though he didn't end up fully losing balance, and it is not until Rin decides to have mercy on him and lend a hand, that he can finally tug himself apart from it. "I'm gonna go check," the blond decides. "You guys just wait here, I'll be back soon!"

"But, Nagisa-kun, that means you'll have to slide down one time more than the rest of us..." Rei worries, plucking the bottom of his ski stick into the snow, and leaning on it. Nagisa looks around in the dimming light, and he only shrugs.

"Don't worry, Rei-chan, I'm not tired."

"I wouldn't want you to get hurt..."

"Well, I don't want Haru-chan to get hurt!" Nagisa responds, and a moment later he's off, and the vehemency in his words that still rings in the silence a moment later makes Makoto feel as if another icicle has been thrusted into his heart. At this point, all they can do is wait in silence; Gou clings to Rin, very obviously nearly in tears, and Rin lets her, for once. It is a good ten minutes before they can spot Nagisa sitting on the ski lift again, waving towards them with what they all desperately hope is a signal of relief, only for their stomachs to drop as one a moment later when the wind carries his voice. "He's not in the rest house! I haven't seen him anywhere down where we left our things!"

Makoto's decision is just as impulsive as Nagisa's was - except that nobody would have expected such behaviour from  _him_. "I'll find him," he says, his voice definite and calm, and by the looks on their faces, he, for once, managed to convince them of a courage he doesn't actually possess. Nevertheless, that doesn't matter now - Haru does. "You guys go down, I'll meet you at the rest house."

"But, Mako-chan, you shouldn't go alone-..."

"I'll meet you there," Makoto repeats, and there is such an uncanny strictness in his voice, that it effectively shuts them all up for a moment - a moment which is just long enough for him to turn around and ski away, on another lane they haven't tried out yet (but, again, since Haruka is nowhere on this one, it must mean he tried someplace else).

By the time Rin recovers enough to yell "Makoto, that's bullshit-!" after him, he has already disappeared from their sight.

* * *

The light is fading rapidly - too fast, in fact, for comfort. Makoto has never been a fan of the darkness in general, but here, alone in the woods, it is even more terrifying; more than ever before. He needs every ounce of his mental strength to keep going; it is good that at least the path ahead of him is clear, not many skiers left on the lanes, as they all know how dangerous it is at night. At first, he is simply looking, rather than calling, not wanting to disrupt other people, but that caution is soon thrown to the wind. Haru is not at the bottom of the other lane he decided to slide down; a bottom which is actually a place for five different lanes to meet, coming down from five separate hills, and as he thinks of all the possibilities of the routes Haruka could have taken in this labyrinth of a ski resort, Makoto's heart is gripped by terror previously unknown to him, a kind of panicked fear that cannot even be compared to his fear of the sea, not even to the kind of scare he felt when he saw Rei among the waves. Here, as the last rays of sunlight begins to wane among the trees on top of the tallest hills, Makoto begins to feel as if the mountains surrounding him could collapse on him, suffocate him, much like a tsunami could - what if there was an avalanche?

He mounts another lane by ski lift, then yet another, still finding no trace of the dark-haired boy. When he is on the middle of his way upwards the third, the ski lifts stop working, switched off for the night.

Trudging up the mountainside, having taken off his skis, the hard shoes not meant for walking in them uncomfortably digging into his calves and his ankle bones sore, Makoto thinks he has never been more alone in his life.

Finally, he begins calling out Haruka's name; first a loud, clear yell that rings through the surroundings, echoing off untouched, pristine walls of snow, then, as he plows on, now barely seeing where he is even going, his voice breaks more and more, till it is nothing but a hoarse whisper, and the only remaining thing that keeps him from crying is the knowledge that the tears would probably freeze onto his face. Nonetheless, he doesn't stop. He isn't sure anymore of what keeps driving him, but it's the same kind of drive that made him plunge into the angry sea to save Rei back then - except that this time, even in spite of how terrified he is, his feet seem to keep carrying him of their own accord; he does not freeze up in fright, not when he knows for sure that he is on his own, and thus, he is the only hope for Haruka - the person he cherishes above anything, above his own fears, his own  _life_.

And then,  _finally_... Makoto at first hardly dares to believe his eyes. Surely his fright of the darkness surrounding him has addled his mind a little, he is only seeing things he wishes to see? But, no... it really is actually true, he realizes as he begins to close the rest of the distance, his shoes semi-filled with snow, and his knees heavy as rocks. It actually is Haruka's figure collapsed in a heap at the bottom of a tree, his lower half covered in snow that most likely fell on him from the branches when he collided with the trunk. Makoto's skis drop into the snow with a clatter, and he falls on his knees next to the other, tugging a glove off with his teeth to touch Haruka's face. "Haru!" he cries out; his cheek is ice cold to the touch, even though Makoto knows his own hand must be fairly cool now, too, despite the gloves, and he is pale as a ghost, even next to the whiteness of the snow next to him. The glove falls to the ground between them as Makoto calls his name again, his voice now hysterical in earnest, and he gives Haruka's shoulder a shake that's maybe a little too firm. He can't... He can't possibly be...

Haruka's eyes slowly flutter open; it clearly takes him a couple of excruciatingly low moments to focus his vision, but then he manages to mumble, the words barely making it past his blue-frozen lips, "Mako...to..." And Makoto really badly wants to cry now, but he still can't, not while they are out in the middle of nowhere, just the two of them. The brunet thanks whatever gods exist that Haruka didn't wander off of the lane into the woods; nobody would have found him then. This is still an obscure enough lane on its own, Makoto can't even figure out where it ends.

"Haru, come on, we need to get back to the others," he says gently, though his voice rises in pitch at the end of the sentence as he sees Haruka's head lull to the side, eyes half-lidded. "Haru...!" Hastily, he tugs his glove back on and stands, pulling the other with himself. With how easily he comes, it is at least confirmed that he doesn't have any broken bones, but with how incoherent he is, Makoto is fairly sure the dark-haired boy has a concussion. "You need to stay awake, okay?" he nudges him in the side, maybe a little too sharply. Haruka is still wearing his skis - it's a little odd, seeing as they should come off when someone takes a big fall, but at least this way, they don't have to search for them in the dark. Unfortunately, the ski sticks are nowhere to be found, but Makoto doesn't bother to search for them. They need to get back to the others first; one task at a time. If they can make it, he'll gladly pay the fee for the lost poles.

He doesn't have a map of the resort with him - the only one they got is with Gou -, and he has no idea how far they are from the starting point to even attempt to find their way around; so there is only one solution, and that is, to retrace the exact steps Makoto took when he was searching. Makoto picks up all four skis with one arm, hoisting them over a shoulder, and then he secures Haruka in his grip on the other side, having the shorter boy lean into his side as they walk, painstakingly slowly, the darkness ever growing. Makoto can't even see his earlier footprints anymore, despite the fact that no snow has fallen all day, so all he can do is go by his memory, and pray they don't get even more lost. From time to time, he gives Haru a bit of a thrust at the hips (seeing that his hands are full), to keep him awake, but more often than not, it feels as if he is carrying the other, rather than having Haru walk along with support; something that only makes his panic rise even further.

He doesn't actually realize it when he finally begins crying - he only notices that halfway up the fourth hill (there is two more, maybe three? he is not quite sure) Haruka suddenly stops, and dread grips the brunet, thinking the other has lost consciousness, only to meet Haruka's brilliant, almost fierce gaze a moment later, and to finally become aware of the fact of how ragged his breathing is. "Makoto, we'll be fine," Haruka says, his voice still faint, but still carrying a certainty that's somehow stronger than all of Makoto's resolve put together. "I'm right here." And it's all Makoto can do to sniffle and nod, and tighten his arm around Haruka's waist a little as he turns towards the path ahead again.

Somewhere deep down, he knows that later on, when all of this is behind them, he is going to be extremely angry with Haruka - but, for now, just with those couple of reassuring words, he manages to find solace in the other's company, this endless darkness they now share together, along with the sheer will to  **keep going**.

* * *

It's all a huge mess when they reach back to the rest house. Rin is waiting outside, wearing nothing but a sweater, pacing up and down like a caged lion, and hauls them inside into the warmth so quickly that Makoto promptly drops all of their equipment in front of the door, and it is left there, forgotten, for the time being. The next moment, Haruka is pulled from Makoto's side - he wants to protect reflexively, until he realizes that the person doing so is a suave-looking doctor, who could immediately tell (probably partially by information he received earlier) that Haruka is in greater need of examination. Makoto is chilled to the bone, too, of course, not to mention so weary he thinks he could just sleep standing up right where he is, but it's nothing that can't be cured with a hot mug of tea and a pile of blankets back at the hotel. He doesn't really have much of a chance to even sit down, anyway, because the next moment, both Gou and Nagisa are sobbing with their arms around him, and for a couple of minutes, everything just dissolves around the brunet into a hazy blur of his friends' relieved babbling, the doctor's strict but warm tone issuing instructions and asking Haruka questions, and his own exhaustion.

Haruka, it turns out, was extremely lucky; he only has a minor concussion, and as Makoto manages to vaguely calculate out just how long it took the two of them to find their way back, the doctor also arrives at the conclusion that Haruka should be allowed to sleep, once they reach back to the hotel, although until then, he should still be kept awake, just to be on the safe side - something Haruka acknowledges with obvious annoyance, but Makoto, who has by now managed to more or less recover from the sheer shock of everything that has transpired, manages to give him such a withering look that the dark-haired boy ends up staying silent, looking to the side with obvious guilt in his eyes. A part of Makoto wants nothing else than to hold him, to reassure both of them that they are now all right, but with his panic wearing off, he finds himself so angry that he even surprises himself with his own feelings. He pointedly takes the seat next to Rei on the bus ride back to the hotel, and Haruka ends up by Rin's side, who looks less than amused at the task of having to continuously poke him awake being thrust upon him (but does it without complaint nonetheless).

However, once they arrive, it is quite obvious that they cannot ignore each other any longer. Makoto and Haruka do share a room, after all, all by themselves. Still, even though it's past midnight, Makoto goes off to shower without a word, fully expecting Haruka to have fallen asleep by the time he finishes. Sure enough, the other is in bed when he comes out of the bathroom, but it is not until he has pulled on his pajamas and is about to climb into his own bed that Haruka finally speaks, letting him know he is actually awake.

"Makoto..."

The brunet halts abruptly, one corner of his blanket in his hand, which he was about to fold back to climb underneath. Haruka is now looking at him, laying on his side facing Makoto in his bed; he looks somehow  _shaky_ and fragile, and Makoto thinks his lips still look slightly purple from the cold. He holds his breath for a second, but Haru doesn't say anything else, and Makoto finally caves in with a sigh, grabbing his blanket and bringing it over to Haruka's bed, laying it on top of the other.

"I don't want-..."

"Shut up."

Haruka still looks like he wants to protest, but his features relax when Makoto climbs in next to him, and pulls him to himself without another word, enveloping him in his own warmth in addition of the heat provided by two set of thick blankets. Haruka scoots as close as humanly possible, completely silent, his cold cheek pressing against Makoto's chest while his arm loops itself around the taller one's waist, and after a minute or so, Makoto finally allows himself to  _really_  relax, too, maybe for the first time ever since they discovered Haru had disappeared.

"I've never been this scared before." Makoto is almost sure Haruka is asleep, his breathing is so even, but with the way his arm tightens around the brunet's waist, it's obvious he isn't. " _Ever_ ," Makoto adds with emphasis, his voice a quivering whisper, knowing Haruka would understand more than anyone else in the entire world.

"I'm sorry," Haruka murmurs, his embrace tightening even further, and despite the height difference, it somehow feels as if he is holding Makoto now, not the other way around. Makoto relishes in the feel of it without shame - Haru has always been his rock, only too willing to allow him to depend on him when Makoto felt he couldn't manage by himself, and the thought of how close he has come to losing that tonight, losing Haruka, is just altogether too much to bear alone. "I really am, Makoto." His own voice is barely above a whisper, but there is more emotion in it than he would allow anyone else to hear but Makoto; he sounds genuinely regretful, and that's enough for the other.

 _It's okay now_ , Makoto thinks,  _we're okay._  But what he ends up saying instead, in a surprisingly demanding tone, is, "Don't do it again."

"I won't," Haruka promises, and even though he sounds sincere, Makoto can tell he's smiling slightly. He doesn't really mind, especially when Haruka tugs him even closer, one of his legs slipping in between Makoto's; they are still ice cold, despite the rest of him having warmed up now, and Makoto lets out a hiss of surprise. Haru glances up at him, his eyes sparkling with the hidden smile nobody but Makoto can detect, and there is a hint of surprising mischief to his voice as he adds, "You know, maybe Nagisa has a point."

"... What?"

"You really are kind of like a bear." Pause. "Although I like your bear hugs much better this way; without as many layers between us..."

"Go to sleep, Haru."

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know how I ended up with this, when the original idea started out as just Haru being cold at night. xD Thank you for reading! If you liked it, please like/reblog the [original post](http://makoharufestival.tumblr.com/post/73690459594/challenge-cuddles-user-streganicha-rating-sfw)! Thank you ;u;


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